“Wake me up with your glory
Lift up my soul with your love
And shine on me today…
The blinds in my room are always slightly open. I love waking up to little specks of soft light on my walls as they devour every inch of the room each and every morning. This light is what urges me to wake up most days. The gift of novelty that comes with the start of each new day excites me. What does God have to show me today? What does He have planned for us? There are some mornings, though, that worry, despair, and the longing for more urge me to stay in bed, close the blinds, and tell God “not today”. Today was that kind of morning.
I didn’t feel like doing anything. I woke up with zero motivation. If I’m really honest, I’ve been feeling this way for a while now. Some days are better than others, but most days I can’t seem to put my motivation into action. Other days, I feel drained from nothing or maybe everything. I think it’s because my mind is always on overdrive. I’m constantly thinking on what’s next when I haven’t even taken care of what is currently on my plate. I’m constantly thinking about everything wrong in my life instead of highlighting the good things in it and leaving the rest at His feet because a lot of it is out of my control anyways. I’m not helping anything by driving myself insane over it. I’m a worrier and a good one at that. It’s a struggle for me to completely focus on one thing without overwhelming myself with everything else all at once. It all becomes too much and I start to shut down making myself believe that what I’m working towards― my dreams, my calling, and my purpose― is not that important and I settle into this passive, empathetic mentality and lifestyle of only giving half my best and allowing my emotions to dictate what I do and don’t do. I begin to settle and live in a constant state of la la land only dreaming about what I want instead of pursuing it. I start to escape reality with books, Netflix, and daydreams instead of contending the problems in my life on my knees and in the Word. I let my current reality become my only reality instead of living in pursuit of the promises that He has already declared over my life— a future full of peace.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,” declares the LORDS, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
I believe that one of our biggest problems as humans is that we tend to say “no” to God in the moments and seasons of our lives when we are in need of Him the most. We reject His everlasting love for a temporary sense of satisfaction that leaves us empty and drained. We start to rely on our own strength and diminish the power of God in us by saying yes to the flesh— tiredness, doubt, lack of self-worth, lust, the list goes on and on. Sometimes we don’t even say “no” to God, we just ignore Him altogether by putting everything else before Him. We basically express to God, “You’re not enough”. Choosing to tell God “not today” shuts down His purpose for us on that day and hinders Him from using us the way He wants to. A day without Him is literally a waste. Instead of living for His glory, we live for ourselves. Things that are hard become insufferable, good things are diminished to okay, and we miss out on so much. By saying, “no” to God we give Satan a “maybe” and give him room to make a move towards our heart.
Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
I think that once in a while we all find ourselves in this low place. We all have bad days that turn into bad weeks, sometimes months, and sadly a lifestyle for many of us. We fall into a routine and continue to live the just okay life. But here’s some encouragement for me and you, God is good even when we fall short of His goodness towards us. He is faithful even when we are not. Even when we tell Him “no,” He tells us “yes”. In our lowest states, when we believe we have nothing to give, he prunes and prunes and brings to light the beauty in us… the light in us. He reveals to us our worth to Him. Even when we decide to do nothing, He does something in us that with time starts to burst through everything we do because He He will finish what He has started in our lives and perfect that which concerns us. Again, He is faithful.
Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it out on to the completion until the day of Jesus Christ… The LORD will perfect that which concerns me.
Philippians 1:6 + Psalms 138:8
Like many of you, I have all these dreams in my heart and when I close my eyes, I see them come to life so vividly in my mind. To the point, that when I wake up sometimes they still feel close, so real; but then reality sinks in― “I’m not even close to where I hoped to be at this time of my life”. And you know what? IT IS OKAY. It’s okay to not be where we imagined ourselves to be; but at the same time, we have to work towards where we want to be. We can’t allow the spirits of low self-esteem or lack of accomplishment hinder us from doing what we can where we are at and with what we have.
What we view as a lack because sometimes we are way too harsh on ourselves and set expectations for ourselves based on where others are at and overlook all that we have accomplished. Your life is individually yours. Your standard is not everyone else around you, but God and what He has called you individually to do. By doing your part others will be able to do theirs.
I’ll even go a step further and say that it’s best sometimes to not be where we want to be. If we think what we envision for ourselves seems perfect, can you imagine what God envisions for us? When our plans don’t pan out, His plans are not only being revealed to us but are coming to pass. It’s in these moments when life doesn’t make sense, hope seems lost, and all you see ahead is a destination and not a road that God is most at work. What makes a movie a movie is all that happens behind the scenes. What makes a story a story is all the planning and plotting that takes place behind the well written scripted words. It’s in the process that purpose is revealed and passion is instilled. Even more so, it’s throughout the process that our destination transforms from a dream to a reality because we start to live in it. Our destination is not a single moment or a single place; it’s every day. It’s every step we take. We live by faith by walking in the fulfillment of His promises for us.
For we walk by faith, not by sight… Knowing this, that the trying of your faith produces patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
2 Corinthians 5:7 + James 1:3-4
It’s a privilege that God allows us to be a part of the process; that He allows us to know Him.
With that said, lately, I’ve been asking myself, “Why am I so tired?” Tired of motivating myself, encouraging myself, pushing myself, and tired of living my life the way it is right now when I have so many opportunities within my grasp and so much time to invest in my gifts and talents. See, I have a tendency to quit when I’m not happy with my circumstances and quickly turn to the want of change, of something new but isn’t that what each day holds? Possibilities upon possibilities. So I’ve been turning the question around to “Maali, what are you gonna make out of today?” See, a lot of us live with the mentality that each day is already planned out and, yes, it is; but it is up to us to choose to live out those plans that have already been planned by God. To live, to truly live is a choice and it’s not always easy, but God is so loving and caring and invites us to live with Him. We don’t have to do it alone. He is there to carry us when we can’t walk anymore. He slows down when we start to get tired and reminds us that there is an unending supply of strength in His love, in His presence (again we need to choose to dwell in it). He shines the glory of His face upon us when the darkness of this world starts to consume us. He chooses to live life with us. He chose me out of many and He chose you too because He hoped we’d love Him back and deep down he knew we will. It’s time to wake up Child of light. It’s time to say “yes, Abba”. His hand is extended out to you. His voice is lovingly urging you to open your eyes and behold all that He has to show you― all that He has planned for you. He desires to live life with you… to love on you every single day. Wake up and say, “Yes”. Life is too short to not live.
In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us….Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.
Romans 8:37 + Ephesians 5:14
…Cause I just want to know you
I just want to behold you
King of my heart and soul”
WELCOME TO A PLACE IN HIS HEART.
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Here’s two songs that I find goes along with this post and motivate me on most of my gloomy days: “Psalms 34” By Shane & Shane and You Have My Yes (Spontaneous) By Steffany Gretzinger. Give them a listen and dance in His light with me.
Thank you for allowing me to share what He places on my heart with you. Leave a comment below letting me know your thoughts on this post, and stay tuned!