Where Are You?

These last few months I have found myself asking God, “Where are you?” I know God is always with me. He’s promised to never leave me and He’s never failed me before. Why would He now? But no matter how much I pray sometimes, read my Bible, or just simply seek Him; I haven’t been finding Him and in someway I have felt lost. Like a piece of me, the essence of who I am decided to hide.

“Do you trust me?” is the question God has been constantly asking me.  At first, I questioned God back, “Why are you asking me that? Of course, I do!” How can I not? But as I have been emerged deeper and deeper into this season and as God has felt farther and farther away from my heart, at times, I start to doubt who God is to me personally. Not wholeheartedly, but a big part of me, my mind, has a hard time grasping sometimes the concept that He is faithful, loving, kind, and with me all the time. Deep down I always know God is there, but it’s hard to keep the faith alive when the One who keeps it alive feels far and somewhat gone, but God is faithful. He is always faithful. “I am who I say I am, and you are who I say you are” has been constantly whispered into my heart, even before this dry season began. He is faithful even before we need His faithfulness.

Before a battle in life, God gives us the Word we will need to conquer it. He may seem far, but His voice will reign loud and clear. We just have to be quiet enough to hear it. He will never allow us to reach a state so low that He can’t extend His hand to reach us. He won’t allow our hearts to harden to a point that His love won’t be able to soften it once again.

Gratitude keeps Faith alive.

My dad mentioned to me something the other day that stuck with me.

“We don’t fast so that God will do something, we fast so that our Faith is strong enough to believe in what we can’t see, but has already been declared as done.”

We fast to hold fast to His power rooted in the truth of who He is. It’s through fasting that we deny the flesh and feed the Spirit. Our emotions diminish as truth roars and pierces through its fog, and in turn, we feel not just with our heart, but with our Spirit. We start to see God for who is and not who we think He is because of how we feel. Then, we are able to live with a heart full of gratitude because our thankfulness won’t be determined by how we feel or even our circumstances; but it will become a natural response, as it should be.

“Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD.” Psalm 150:6

In other words, let everything that that’s alive thank the Lord. We were created to live life with gratitude in our hearts despite our lives. I’m not saying to be thankful one needs to fast, but sometimes our flesh, we, need a big, strong no to simple things such as eating or social media or whatever it may be to find the strong will to say no to much bigger things that have a hold on our lives— our worship to God.

Self-discipline strengthens our strong will.

Faith is more than a feeling.

Hebrews 11:1 defines faith as:

“the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen”

The substance is evidence and hope is something that exists even if we can’t physically see it or maybe we can see it but we can’t attain it or maybe we have seen in the past but in the present moment, we can’t see it as truth and believe in it. It is something we can hold onto when the world seems to be falling beneath us. In other words, faith is the belief in the evidence of something we can’t always physically see but know to be true in our hearts and in our spirit.

Faith is not a verb, therefore it isn’t something we do. We can have faith, but we can’t do faith. Faith is a noun, something we obtain that leads to action. Can we feel faith? Yes. But just like truth remains true regardless of whether we believe it to be or not, its existence is not determined by whether we feel it or not.

To have faith leads us to make a decision to stand for something regardless of where or how we fall in this life or even within ourselves. Faith in action is a daily “yes” to live for something greater. True faith invokes more than a feeling. It provokes us to live a radical lifestyle and the only person who can take it away from you is you.

Faith rooted in Christ, our Rock and Savior, leads to living a life with Love full of peace.

True, honest, and pure faith rooted in the Father’s unfailing love will never fail. The power it holds is endless and we have the acceptance as His creation to tap into it regardless of the state of our hearts. The reason why a lot of times it’s difficult to feel or even find our faith is that we have uprooted ourselves from the source.

We seek, but don’t find; knock, but receive no answer because we are seeking in the wrong places and knocking on the wrong doors. Other times, it’s not that we aren’t seeking in the right place, but we aren’t seeking with our whole heart and we aren’t knocking believing that the door the Father has placed in front of us will open.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Faith allows us to not only see the door but to see the door opened. It gives us the strength to wait for the Master to come and open it so that we can finally see Him face to face. Be still, wait. He is never late. Fight the feelings as you fight for your faith.

Feelings come and go.

A lot of times we want to base our plans or even our faith on how we feel. I mean, it’s easy to feel motivated and encouraged when life is going well, but when life gets hard as it always does at some point or another it’s easy to allow our feelings to determine our decisions. Now, feelings aren’t bad. In fact, God uses them to speak to us, to feel Him— they are God-given; but our feelings shouldn’t dictate how we feel all the time. There are some feelings that need to be fought because they can lead to actions that will cause us to fall. Feelings are fleeting. One day, we feel for this and the next for that. It’s like the ocean waves moving back and forth. Imagine if we based our faith, what we believe in, our lifestyle, on how we feel. We’d never get anywhere. We’ll be falling all over the place. Our feelings aren’t always true or based on truth. They can be deceiving like our hearts, but faith is redirecting.

Our feelings are linked to our circumstances both physically and spiritually. Our faith is linked to Christ.

Here’s what I mean. Our feelings at times are based on things that aren’t even true. Maybe situations we create in our head or lies we believe. Faith allows us to receive the feelings, filter them through the Spirit, the truth, and redirect them. Feelings come and go, but faith remains against the currents thrown our way.

Our faith is not lost.

I have realized my question to God should never be “Where are you? In fact, I shouldn’t question God on this matter at all. I should question myself, “Where am I?” God is always with us, fighting for us, encouraging us, loving on us; but we aren’t always by His side. Like a sheep we wander off, fall into deep pits, fight battles that aren’t our own, and become lost; but our good Shepard is always on the lookout for us.

His love for us is an everyday love. No matter how we feel, Abba loves us. That will never change. Before we ever said yes to Him and loved Him back, He already loved us. What makes us think He’ll stop loving us now that we have loved Him back. Stay under the safety of His love and live out your faith. Don’t allow your feelings, don’t allow yourself to kill the power of faith inside you. Don’t close the door on the Master’s face. Feelings come and go. Circumstances change, but His love and who God is will never ever change. He is who He says He is, faithful, and we are who He says we are, loved. We are faithfully loved.

Love won’t let us go.

“Abba, remind us of where we belong when our hearts lead us astray. Help us find our way back to your heart.“

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Here’s a song that crossed my path and I find fits well with this post: Faithful by Erik Nieder. I hope it encourages you as it has me.

Thank you for allowing me to share what He places on my heart with you. I pray that these words pierce your heart and bring a little light to your soul. You are so loved and because of this more than a conqueror. The One who conquered the world lives in you! How awe-inspiring and empowering is that?

Again, thank you for reading. Leave a comment below letting me know your thoughts on this post and share with me what God has been speaking to you. I’d love to hear! Stay tuned, friends!

With Love,

Maali